I'm not the boy I once was, but I'm not the man I'll be.

well i dont really have a great reason for making this thing, except for the sole reason to keep in contact with people. i really dont like facebook...or myspace...or xanga...i dont really know yet why this is different but im doing it none the less.
I feel like i have not kept up a relationship with a single person back home. not one. no one knows what is going on in my life at "that place in texas where james is", what im doing, what im learning, and i dont know whats going on in any of your lives. when i say your, im referring to the few people that i know will read this, and they so happen to be the people i care about quite a bit. so there you have it.
i guess to start off...if you have no idea what im doing, im at an internship in texas called the Honor Academy. No, its not an advanced placement school for really smart kids or a missionary society or a cult. its a year long internship that was developed to train up leaders in our generation to get vision for their lives, wisdom, and discipline, and to get a solid foundation in their lives with the Lord before they go off into the world. the Honor Academy is apart of Teen Mania Ministries, which is an organization that puts on huge youth conferences and stadium events around the country called aquire the fire, as well as sending out around 5000 teenagers all of the world every summer through Global Expeditions. interns run teen mania basically, so while our lives are being molded and changed and refined and stretched, we are running a ministry that is reaching hundreds of thousands of teenagers lives around the country. bascially i am taking classes on character development, leadership, missions, apologetics, and a classes about developing into a man and being a father and a husband. i am on the phones calling to bring people to the honor academy as my job in the ministry. at first i though that i was basically going to be a telemarketer for teen mania, but i was very wrong. every day on the phone i talk to a hungry, dying, and hurting generation. i talk to teens who are enveloped in drug addiction, addicted to pornography, kids who are in dark depression so much that they are cutting themselves and contemplating suicide. every day. it has definitely opened my eyes to what is going on in this generation, and how desperate our youth are for something solid to grab ahold of, something constant, something that will fill the gaping hole in their heart that they are desperately trying to fill with lies from satan that are leading them straight to hell.
this place is changing my life. i never imagined that the Lord would be using me to speak life into people who are dying and without hope and bringing them the truth and life that Jesus Christ can give them.
i am learning a lot. i am growing a lot. i have much more to learn, and i have a ton more growing to do. it is so easy to forget about why i am here though...this is the most busy that i have ever been in my entire life, hands down. i feel terrible because i havent kept in contact with the people that i love, and at some points i feel like i have gotten too busy for the Lord. i know it when that happens, and i hate it. all that i want is go deeper. to know His heart, to know his love that surpasses knowledge, to fall more in love with him every day. i want to be the man that He wants to be, and for Him to be able to use me with no restrictions.
as i said. i am learning. as the great band mewithoutYou says, "im not the boy that i once was, but im not the man ill be."

i want to know whats going on in your lives. i really do. i want to stay in contact and will do the very best that i can to do so. dont worry, not all of these will ridiculously deep or depressing. i will try to get my creative juices flowing, or lack there of.